How do is start to put into words what my life has been like to finally tell my story to help me heal, to help me begin to let my trauma out…

The truth is for years I held this all inside deep down, so far down (Pandora’s box). That’s what i call the box in my head for all the things I don’t want to deal with.

I have no clue where to start my story.

My journey Entry 1

19 July 2026

its been a long day …

I’ve just finished creating this.

Tomorrow I’m going to do a little more and learn how to link these url codes .

Ha hahahahahahahaha !

me doing something like this. Who would had thought it digital marketing and trauma are helping me get my story out.

I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m tired my body Hurts so bad and I already know. I’m going to have a fibromyalgia flare. “ LOVE THAT FOR ME “.

GOOD NIGHT GUYS THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.🤎

My Journey – Entry #2

21 July 2026

I’ve Been Keeping a Secret…

I’ve been bursting to tell you this…

I’ve been keeping a secret.

Not because I wanted to hide it, but because I wanted to give myself the time to build something that truly felt like me.

Over the last few weeks, my notebook has filled up with ideas.

Some have been crossed out.

Some have made me laugh.

Some have made me think, “Can I really do this?”

And then I remembered…

That’s exactly how every new journey begins.

What started as one little idea is slowly becoming something much bigger.

I’m creating something for people like me.

People who’ve doubted themselves.

People who’ve overthought everything.

People who’ve wanted to start but didn’t know where to begin.

I’m not building it because I have all the answers.

I’m building it because I’m still learning too.

You’ll see the messy bits.

The exciting bits.

The moments where I change my mind.

The moments where something suddenly clicks.

I’m inviting you to watch it grow with me.

One page.

One lesson.

One idea.

One step at a time.

I don’t know exactly where this journey will take me.

But I do know one thing…

I’m no longer waiting for permission to build the life I’ve been dreaming about.

So…

Here’s to taking chances.

Here’s to believing in ourselves.

And here’s to finally sharing the secret I’ve been working so hard to keep.

Thank you for being here.

The journey is only just beginning.

🤎Naomi

My journey Entry #3

25 July 2026

Kids broke up from schools , it’s been hard trying to juggle creating, my very own stuff and trying to stay present online has been hard I’m not going to lie , for somebody like me every day on its own just living with my conditions is hard so add in to that kids ,housework,my medications, my self care and much much much more . Well it’s draining so I’ve needed some time to rest so i thought id just do a quick entry log and come say hi.

I haven’t actually posted much as I’m still learning so many new things while i rest my body , so for people stuck in the”sofa mode” and feeling like your brain needs to be busy but your body needs to rest , for people with illnesses like mine fibro , arthritis,cfs,people pacing or just feeling low and depressed and those who think they cant do anything and aren’t worth anything.

Your worth more than you think so don’t stop keep going.

Goodnight all

Naomi🤎

My Journey Entry #4

4 September 2026

The Bit You Don’t Always See 💛

It’s been a while since my last proper entry, and looking back at the date actually makes me realise just how much has happened behind the scenes.

I haven’t disappeared. I haven’t given up. If anything, I’ve probably been doing too much 😂.

The difference is that a lot of what I’ve been doing hasn’t necessarily been visible online.

I’ve been learning, creating, trying things, changing things, getting excited about new ideas, getting overwhelmed by those ideas, resting because my body has had enough… and then getting another idea while I’m supposed to be resting 😂.

Basically, welcome to my brain.

I’ve continued learning digital marketing and trying to work out how I can build something that actually works around my life and my health, rather than trying to force myself into a life that my body simply can’t keep up with anymore.

TIE — The Income Engine — has been a big part of giving me those foundations.

It hasn’t magically built a business for me, and I don’t want this Journey to ever become one of those places where everything suddenly looks perfect because I’m learning digital marketing.

It isn’t.

I’m still learning.

I’m still figuring things out.

I’m still trying things that don’t work.

But I’m also creating things I never thought I would be able to create.

I’ve made digital products. I’ve created and launched a digital health tracker on Etsy. I hoped it would sell — and it didn’t suddenly start flying off the virtual shelves 😂.

And actually, that’s part of the story too.

Because I’m learning that creating something is only one part of it. Learning how to market it, talk about it, find the right people and build trust takes time.

I’ve also been working on my Under The Dressing Gown Growth Academy, creating the workbook and thinking about how I can use what I’m learning to help other people build confidence too.

Then there’s Kim’s Queen Bears Den. I’ve been helping with ideas for the website, branding and merch, while somehow my brain continues producing approximately another 700 ideas in the background 😂.

And all of this is happening alongside real life.

I’m still a mum.

I’m still dealing with chronic illness, pain, fatigue and fibro fog.

I’m still trying to understand my brain better.

I’m still dealing with family life, money worries, appointments, housework and all the normal things that don’t disappear just because you’ve decided you want to change your life.

Some days I feel incredibly motivated.

Other days my body basically says, “Absolutely not, Naomi.” 😂

And that’s probably the bit I want to document most.

Because I’m in the messy middle.

I’m not standing at the end of this Journey telling you how I became successful.

I’m documenting it while I’m actually trying to become something.

There are unfinished ideas.

There are things that haven’t sold.

There are days where I’ve done loads and days where I’ve barely managed anything.

But when I look back at the woman who was sitting in “sofa mode”, feeling like her body had stopped her from being useful or capable of building anything…

I can see something changing.

I’m learning.

I’m creating.

I’m trying.

And even when it’s messy, I’m moving forward.

Maybe that’s what progress actually looks like.

Not one huge transformation.

Just continuing to take the next little step, even when you don’t quite know where it’s going to lead yet.

Naomi 🤎🧡

My Journey Entry #5

5 September 2026

From Learning the Basics… to Realising I Can Actually Do This 💛

I’ve been thinking today about just how much has changed since I first decided to learn digital marketing.

When I started TIE — The Income Engine, I didn’t start because I had some huge business plan or because I already knew what I was doing.

Quite the opposite 😂.

I needed to find something that could work around me.

Around being a mum. Around my disabilities. Around the days when my body decides it has completely different plans to my brain. Around appointments, family life, pain, fatigue and everything else that comes with being me.

A normal 9–5 just doesn’t feel realistic for my life anymore.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to give.

And I think that’s one of the biggest things that has started changing in me.

TIE gave me somewhere to begin.

It introduced me to digital marketing, digital products, affiliate marketing, content creation and different ways people can build an income online.

But more than anything, it gave me foundations.

And obviously, because this is me we’re talking about, learning one new thing didn’t result in one nice organised little idea.

Absolutely not. 😂

It resulted in about 700 ideas.

I started creating.

I started looking at things differently.

I started thinking, “Could I actually make that?”

Then, “Could I build that?”

Then probably five minutes later, “WAIT… I’ve got another idea!” 😂

And now I’ve taken another step.

I’ve started learning through ESC / Multi Figure Formula, which is more advanced than where I originally began.

The funny thing is, moving onto something more advanced hasn’t made me think I didn’t need TIE.

It’s actually done the opposite.

It’s made me realise why I needed those foundations first.

I’m recognising things.

I’m understanding terminology that would once have sounded like another language.

I’m looking at new information and thinking, “Hang on… I actually know what they’re talking about.”

That might sound tiny to somebody else.

To me, it isn’t.

Because this isn’t just about making money online.

It’s about proving to myself that I can still learn.

I can still build.

I can still create.

My life changing didn’t mean my opportunities had to disappear with it.

And I want to be really clear about something as I document this journey:

I’m not suddenly a millionaire.

I’m not going to pretend I’ve completed a course and magically transformed my bank account overnight.

That’s not what this diary is about.

I’m showing you the bit before the success story.

The learning.

The mistakes.

The ideas.

The unfinished projects.

The excitement.

The days where I feel like I can take on the world, followed by the days where my body tells me I’m spending the afternoon on the sofa 😂.

I’m still figuring all of this out.

But I’m starting to believe that perhaps the chaotic brain I’ve spent so much of my life trying to control isn’t necessarily something I need to fight all the time.

Maybe I just need to learn how to work with it.

TIE helped me start doing that.

Now I’m building on those foundations and seeing where the next stage takes me.

And for somebody who once couldn’t see what her future looked like anymore…

having something I’m excited to keep learning feels pretty bloody massive. 💛

Naomi 🤎

My Journey Entry #6

7 September 2026

This House Is Finally Feeling Like Home 💛

Today has been one of those days that probably doesn’t look particularly life-changing from the outside.

But to me, it actually means quite a lot.

Dad has been helping us with the house again.

Today he mostly put up the shed while I did what I do best — helped a little bit and probably annoyed him a lot 😂.

Sorry, Dad.

But standing there looking around made me realise something.

This house is finally starting to feel like our home.

Not just somewhere we live.

Not just somewhere filled with jobs that need doing, things that need fixing, washing, kids, dogs and approximately 700 other things demanding my attention 😂.

Home.

And I think there’s a difference.

Life has felt so chaotic for such a long time that I’ve constantly felt like I’m trying to catch up with it.

There’s always something else that needs doing.

Something for the kids.

Something around the house.

Something with the dogs.

Something for work.

Something I’m trying to learn.

Something my brain has suddenly decided is the MOST IMPORTANT IDEA EVER 😂.

And somewhere amongst all of that is me.

My body is still trying to remind me that I can’t do everything at the speed my brain would like me to.

That’s probably one of the hardest things I’m learning.

My brain wants to go. My body sometimes needs me to stop.

And stopping doesn’t come naturally to me.

If I’m resting, my brain tells me I should be doing something.

If I’m doing something, my body eventually tells me I should have rested.

You really can’t win sometimes 😂.

But I’m starting to understand that building this new life isn’t supposed to mean exhausting myself trying to make everything perfect.

That would completely defeat the point.

I’m trying to create a life that actually works with me, not one where I’m constantly fighting against myself.

And maybe making this house feel like home is part of that too.

A place where I can rest without feeling guilty.

A place where my family can feel settled.

A place where I can learn and create.

A place where I don’t have to pretend I’ve got everything together.

Because I absolutely haven’t 😂.

There’s still loads to do.

There will always be something that needs sorting.

But tonight I’m trying not to look at everything that isn’t finished.

I’m looking at what we’ve actually done.

And I’m letting myself appreciate it.

Because sometimes progress isn’t a huge business milestone or some massive life-changing moment.

Sometimes it’s your dad putting up a shed while you stand there probably getting on his nerves 😂.

Sometimes it’s looking around and thinking:

“Yeah… this is starting to feel like us.”

And today, that’s enough. 💛

Naomi 🤎

My Journey Entry #7

9 September 2026

I Think I’m Finally Understanding Why I Was So Angry 💛

I’ve realised there’s been a gap in these entries.

And I could easily write that I’ve been busy.

Kids. Dogs. Bills. Appointments. My health. Kim’s health. The house. Trying to build something online. Trying to be a mum. Trying to remember what I’m supposed to be doing next when my brain already feels like it has 700 tabs open.

All of that would be true.

But it wouldn’t be the whole truth.

And if I’m going to share this Journey, I don’t want to only share the bits that are comfortable.

Because mentally and physically, I’ve been struggling.

For so many years, I’ve carried this anger inside me.

From being a child.

To becoming a teenager.

To becoming an adult.

And eventually becoming a mum myself.

I’ve been angry for so bloody long, and I don’t think I ever completely understood why.

Then memories from my childhood started coming back.

And suddenly some of that anger started making sense.

I was angry that I had to go through what I went through.

Angry that I didn’t say anything.

Angry that I froze.

Angry that I was scared.

And now I’m having to understand something that the adult version of me can see differently to the child who actually experienced it.

Why didn’t I say something?

Why did I freeze?

Why was I so frightened?

There are so many emotions attached to those questions.

And when memories come back, it isn’t like watching an old film and calmly remembering what happened.

For me, feelings have been coming with them too.

Fear.

Anger.

Confusion.

Questions.

And I don’t necessarily know what I’m supposed to do with all of that yet.

That’s probably one of the hardest things to admit.

I’m aware now. But being aware doesn’t magically tell you what to do next.

And while all of this has been happening, I’ve felt like I’ve been left without the level of mental-health support I need.

I’ve been trying to get appropriate support since May.

I was told that my needs were too complex for what the service could provide.

I even contacted my local MP because I didn’t know where else to turn. Their office contacted my mental-health team about me needing support.

The woman I’d spoken to from the service was apologetic. Even she acknowledged that I needed a lot of support, that there could be several stages involved and that working through everything could be difficult.

That was frightening to hear.

But in another way, it was validating.

Because somebody was acknowledging:

This is a lot.

I’m also going through the process of being assessed for possible ADHD/autism — AuDHD is something I’m exploring, not something I’m claiming has already been formally diagnosed.

I’ve spent years feeling like doctors don’t always hear what I’m actually trying to tell them.

And right now there isn’t just one thing happening with my health.

There are multiple symptoms affecting me.

There are my existing physical illnesses.

There’s my mental health.

And now I’m also experiencing neurological problems that need investigating.

Sometimes it genuinely feels like my body has gone:

“Nope. That’s enough now, Naomi. You’re going to listen.”

😂

Because in my head?

I’m about 18.

My brain still thinks I should be able to get up and just GO.

Then my actual body enters the conversation like:

Absolutely bloody not. 😂

And that’s another thing I’m trying to accept.

I might need a carer.

I might need help with cleaning.

I might need a mobility scooter.

I might need my walking stick.

I might need adaptations around my home.

Those things are difficult for me to process.

Not because there’s anything wrong with needing them.

But because accepting that I might need them means accepting what my body can and can’t currently do.

And that’s scary.

But something really important has happened amongst all of this.

We’ve finally started getting more support as a family through Young Carers.

And my case worker has helped me more than I think she probably realises.

Because she did something that sounds incredibly simple.

She saw me.

Not just Mum.

Not just somebody struggling with her mental health.

Not a list of physical conditions.

Not somebody with forms, appointments and problems that need sorting.

Naomi.

She listened to my voice.

She understood that I genuinely do need support.

And after feeling unheard for so long, having somebody actually recognise that has meant the world to me.

She’s also helping me get support in place for my family.

That matters enormously because one of my biggest fears through all of this has been what this is doing to them.

I’ve already frightened them.

I had a parasomnia episode while all of this was going on, and it scared my family.

That scared me too.

I’m also frightened because I don’t know whether more memories are going to resurface.

And I don’t want my family worrying about me when they’ve already got so much going on in their own lives.

I’m their mum.

I want to protect them.

But I’m starting to understand that perhaps protecting everybody doesn’t mean putting absolutely everything I’m feeling into a box, taping it shut and hiding it somewhere inside myself.

📦

Because I think I’ve spent years doing exactly that.

Pain?

Box.

Fear?

Box.

Anger?

Box.

Something I couldn’t understand?

Definitely going in the box.

Then keep going.

Be Mum.

Sort everybody else out.

Pretend you’re fine.

Until eventually your mind and your body start telling you that the box isn’t staying closed anymore.

I don’t have a beautiful ending for this entry.

I haven’t suddenly worked everything out.

I’m sitting here typing this on my phone, still trying to understand what I’m supposed to do with everything I’m now becoming aware of.

And I don’t have a big circle of friends around me.

Trust has always been incredibly difficult for me because of things I’ve experienced.

So maybe this is partly why I’m writing publicly.

Maybe somewhere, somebody is going to read this and recognise a tiny piece of themselves.

Maybe somebody who’s been angry their whole life will stop and ask themselves why instead of deciding they’re simply an angry person.

Maybe somebody struggling will realise they’re not the only one.

Maybe somebody reading this will remember to check in on someone they love — particularly the person who always looks like they’re coping.

And maybe somebody will hear the thing I wish I’d understood much earlier:

Please listen to your body.

Don’t do what I did and keep pushing everything down because life needs you to carry on.

Don’t put every warning, every emotion and every painful thing into a box and hide it so well that eventually even you forget what’s inside.

I’m learning that now.

Probably much later than I should have.

But I’m learning.

And despite everything that’s happening mentally and physically, something has changed.

I’m aware.

I understand myself a little more than I did before.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with all of that awareness yet.

But for the first time, I think I’m beginning to understand Naomi.

And maybe that’s where the next part of this Journey actually begins.

Naomi 🤎

My Journey Entry #8

10 September 2026

Sometimes Just Ask Someone How They Are 📚💛

Today I went to the library.

I’m trying to understand myself more, so I’ve started getting books about some of the things I’m questioning about myself and my brain. I’m going through the process around possible ADHD/autism, and while I wait for professionals, I want to learn too.

I also did something completely for me.

I joined the library’s monthly book club. 📚

It’s only an hour once a month and it’s free, but that’s actually quite a big deal for me. Maybe I’ll meet people, maybe I’ll make a friend, maybe it’ll just get me out of the house for an hour.

But something else happened today that stayed with me even more.

There was an older gentleman there on his own.

Something inside me just said:

Ask him if he’s okay.

I’ve always been a sucker for older people 😂. I think it’s how I was brought up — respect your elders and listen to them.

My Big Nana lived with us from when I was little and I even shared a bedroom with her.

She used to tell me stories about her life and I loved listening.

Because I wasn’t just getting to know Big Nana 👵.

I was getting to know the woman she had been before I existed.

Her memories.

Her experiences.

Her.

And that’s what happened with this gentleman.

I asked about his life.

And I actually listened.

He told me about the amazing life he’d had, his family and his wife who had passed away.

He’d experienced hard times, but he’d also had a life filled with family and love.

And he didn’t come across to me as somebody sitting there feeling sorry for himself.

He seemed grateful for the life he’d had.

Eventually, I gave him a lift home.

He was so lovely and so grateful.

But I’ve thought about him since.

Because we walk past people every single day.

At bus stops.

In shops.

In libraries.

Sitting alone.

We see people, but sometimes I think we’ve forgotten how to actually notice them.

We’re all rushing.

We’re on our phones.

We’re thinking about our own problems.

And sometimes all somebody might need is:

“Are you okay?”

“Tell me about yourself.”

And then for somebody to genuinely listen to the answer.

That gentleman reminded me of something else too.

To me, being rich isn’t necessarily about money.

You can have all the money in the world and still have nothing meaningful around you.

He sounded rich to me because he’d had a life filled with family, memories and love.

Family might drive us absolutely bloody crackers 😂. They’re around even when sometimes we’d rather they weren’t.

But family can be our closest friends.

And sometimes the friends we meet along the way become family too.

So here’s something I’m taking from today:

Talk to people. 💛

Ask the lonely person at the bus stop if they’re okay.

Ask an older person about their life.

Ask somebody a question and actually be interested in their answer.

Because behind every person you walk past is an entire life you know absolutely nothing about.

Today I went to the library looking for books to help me understand my own story.

And somehow I ended up sitting there listening to somebody else’s.

I think I needed that reminder.

We all just want to be seen.

Naomi 🤎

September.

My Journey Entry #9

11 September 2026

I Think I’m Finally Waking Up 💛

Today I’ve had one of those strange realisations where nothing massive has happened, but something inside me feels different.

After everything that’s been coming to the surface lately, I think I’m starting to notice me more.

And apparently Naomi is quite chaotic 😂.

The more I stop trying to control how I come across, the more I’m noticing how naturally my brain jumps around.

I’ll suddenly have a question that feels like I NEED the answer immediately.

I’ll research it.

Ask questions.

Go down a rabbit hole.

Finally understand it…

…and then apparently my brain goes:

“Great. Sorted. NEXT!” 😂

I’ve spent years toning parts of myself down without even realising how much I was doing it.

Trying not to be too loud.

Too emotional.

Too excitable.

Too opinionated.

Too much.

Basically trying to make myself easier for other people to understand.

And I’m reaching a point where I just don’t want to do that anymore.

Not in a horrible “I don’t care about anybody” way.

More like:

Why should I have to hide harmless parts of myself just to make somebody else like me?

If I randomly change the subject halfway through a conversation, I’ll probably come back eventually 😂.

If I get excited about something, let me be excited.

If I need something explaining differently, I’ll ask.

If I need a walking stick that day, I’ll use one.

If I need help, I’m learning to say it.

And if somebody thinks I’m a bit chaotic?

They’re probably correct 😂.

But for once, that doesn’t automatically feel like an insult.

⸻

I’ve also realised I need to stop expecting my brain to hold everything.

I want things where I can see them.

A proper routine.

A visible calendar.

Actual reminders.

Simple systems that don’t require me to remember twelve steps before I’ve even started step one.

I’m beginning to understand that making life easier for myself isn’t cheating.

It’s adapting my life to me.

That’s quite a change from spending years trying to adapt myself to everybody and everything else.

⸻

Something else feels different too.

I’m more present with my family.

Not magically fixed.

Not suddenly living some perfect Instagram family life 😂.

Just… more here.

And after spending such a long time feeling like I was surviving one day and then repeating it again the next, that means more to me than I can properly explain.

There are still difficult things happening.

There are still things I’m trying to understand.

There are still questions I don’t have answers to.

But I don’t feel quite as frozen inside my own life.

And that’s why the words that keep coming into my head are:

I think I’m finally waking up.

Maybe finding yourself at 40 isn’t about becoming somebody completely new.

Maybe it’s about slowly stopping all the things you learned to do to hide the person who was already there.

I don’t completely know who Naomi-Jane is yet.

But I’m actually starting to like meeting her.

Even if she is bloody exhausting 😂💛.

Naomi 🤎

My Journey Entry #10

12 September 2026

Real Life Doesn’t Stop Because I’m Trying to Figure Mine Out 😂💛

I had plans today.

Content plans.

TikTok plans.

Things I wanted to get done.

And then I missed the posting window I’d planned for myself.

Old me probably would have turned that into another reason to have a go at myself.

“You’ve messed the plan up.”

But I’m trying to stop doing that.

Because while I’m busy trying to figure out my life, build something for myself and work out who I actually am underneath everything…

I’m still a mum.

And apparently I’m also staff to several animals who couldn’t care less about my content schedule 😂.

I was trying to film today and Mikey, my daughter’s cat, decided that whatever I was doing was nowhere near as important as him.

And actually, I filmed it.

Not staged.

Not perfect.

Just this ridiculous little moment of my actual life.

It made me realise that maybe this is the content I should be sharing more of.

Not constantly trying to create something that looks like everybody else’s version of a content creator.

Just showing mine.

Some days I’ll talk about difficult things.

Some days I’ll talk about building my business.

And apparently some days you’ll get a cat demanding attention while I’m trying to sort my life out 😂.

Because life doesn’t pause while you’re healing.

Motherhood doesn’t pause.

Relationships don’t pause.

The animals definitely don’t pause.

You just learn to live while you’re working it all out.

And maybe missing a planned TikTok post isn’t actually the disaster my brain wants to make it.

Maybe the real, unplanned moment was better anyway.

Still becoming… just apparently with a cat involved. 😂🐈💛

Naomi 🤎